Intro
If you're looking for random, you've come to the right place. If I have anything to share, it's this unique thread of memories, 1944 to 2022. So let me take you for a ride:
We will emerge from a burning sedan.
We will fly from our bodies out a hospital window.
We will go very fast on a motorcycle into the black void.
There will be California girls.
There will be bandidos.
We will go surfing.
We will careen over a cliff.
There will be wildfires.
There will be a Dragon Lady.
We will be captured by Mexican Soldiers.
We will catch a big fish in the middle of the night.
We will meet a friend of Tokyo Rose.
We will go to a movie and then move right into the movie.
There will be volcanoes and lava flows.
We will go to a movie, and then move right into the movie.
Somebody will get shot.
There will be hurricanes and earthquakes and floods.
There will be alligators in the moat.
...And it will come out all right.
This started out to be "Uncle John's Disasters", about my experiences as a FEMA inspector, but as time went on, I expanded the theme to include stories about the chaos around my birth, childhood mishaps, personal disasters and near-misses, and accounts of the earthquakes, wildfires, volcanoes and lava flows in California and Hawaii; and FEMA deployments that included a hurricane, earthquakes, floods and ice storms in the other four corners of the country: Florida, New York and Washington.
I should call it "Uncle John's Tailgate Meeting", for the number of crackups described herein. In the construction world, a literal tailgate safety meeting is required for a small company with just a few employees. The contractor or foreman would gather his people around the back of his truck and have a short talk about the dangers of what we were doing. In most cases, there was a small crew of workers and a contractor who would rather not bother with it and was glad to have me take it off his hands.
The core of my style of tailgate meetings was the sharing of construction accident anecdotes, the gorier the better; with a moral about what foolishness allowed it to happen. People have had their hardhats nailed to their skulls, for instance. Moral: If you bumpfire your nail gun, don't come down the ladder with your finger still on the trigger. Power tools make things happen so fast you can't react. A power drill can break your wrists; saws and planers and every tool meant to cut wood, can cut easily through flesh and bone. Gravity is even faster. It's constantly pulling you down, ready for your misstep. Falling from high places makes the roofer's trade the most dangerous in the industry.
Construction workers with any time in the field have their own stories to tell of events witnessed or news items read, wounds and injuries personally suffered, with scars to show for it, myself included. When everyone had gotten the "willies" at least once, the meeting was over, and we went back to work, a little more mindful of our vulnerabilities and the hazards surrounding us.
In this book there will be chapters in which no catastrophes occur, and just like in life, mayhem can pop up in any setting. So join me in this tailgate meeting about what can happen, what could have happened, what didn't and what did.
Copyright © 2022 John Oliver
All Rights Reserved
mail@unclejohnsweb.com
We will emerge from a burning sedan.
We will fly from our bodies out a hospital window.
We will go very fast on a motorcycle into the black void.
There will be California girls.
There will be bandidos.
We will go surfing.
We will careen over a cliff.
There will be wildfires.
There will be a Dragon Lady.
We will be captured by Mexican Soldiers.
We will catch a big fish in the middle of the night.
We will meet a friend of Tokyo Rose.
We will go to a movie and then move right into the movie.
There will be volcanoes and lava flows.
We will go to a movie, and then move right into the movie.
Somebody will get shot.
There will be hurricanes and earthquakes and floods.
There will be alligators in the moat.
...And it will come out all right.
This started out to be "Uncle John's Disasters", about my experiences as a FEMA inspector, but as time went on, I expanded the theme to include stories about the chaos around my birth, childhood mishaps, personal disasters and near-misses, and accounts of the earthquakes, wildfires, volcanoes and lava flows in California and Hawaii; and FEMA deployments that included a hurricane, earthquakes, floods and ice storms in the other four corners of the country: Florida, New York and Washington.
I should call it "Uncle John's Tailgate Meeting", for the number of crackups described herein. In the construction world, a literal tailgate safety meeting is required for a small company with just a few employees. The contractor or foreman would gather his people around the back of his truck and have a short talk about the dangers of what we were doing. In most cases, there was a small crew of workers and a contractor who would rather not bother with it and was glad to have me take it off his hands.
The core of my style of tailgate meetings was the sharing of construction accident anecdotes, the gorier the better; with a moral about what foolishness allowed it to happen. People have had their hardhats nailed to their skulls, for instance. Moral: If you bumpfire your nail gun, don't come down the ladder with your finger still on the trigger. Power tools make things happen so fast you can't react. A power drill can break your wrists; saws and planers and every tool meant to cut wood, can cut easily through flesh and bone. Gravity is even faster. It's constantly pulling you down, ready for your misstep. Falling from high places makes the roofer's trade the most dangerous in the industry.
Construction workers with any time in the field have their own stories to tell of events witnessed or news items read, wounds and injuries personally suffered, with scars to show for it, myself included. When everyone had gotten the "willies" at least once, the meeting was over, and we went back to work, a little more mindful of our vulnerabilities and the hazards surrounding us.
In this book there will be chapters in which no catastrophes occur, and just like in life, mayhem can pop up in any setting. So join me in this tailgate meeting about what can happen, what could have happened, what didn't and what did.
Copyright © 2022 John Oliver
All Rights Reserved
mail@unclejohnsweb.com
All Rights Reserved
mail@unclejohnsweb.com